


Unofficially

by PiningTsukkiEnthusiast



Series: UshiTen Week 2020 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Development, Getting Back Together, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Manga Spoilers - Post-Timeskip, Pro Volleyball Player Ushijima Wakatoshi, Reunions, Tendou Satori speaking french???, UshiTen Week 2020, Ushiten Week, at least i tried to slip some allusions to that in, it's only like three lines but it's so hot of him please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26109094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast/pseuds/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast
Summary: Day Two:Getting Back Together|Phobias|Crossover AUOfficially, Tendou and Wakatoshi never broke up.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: UshiTen Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894027
Comments: 9
Kudos: 145
Collections: Ushiten Week 2020





	Unofficially

**Author's Note:**

> HahahA this really hurt me to write at first so I'm sorry about That! Uhh the ending makes up for it I think but I was just like "Please No Please No Please No" the entire time... Luckily, I've been thinking about this since Tendou returned in the manga so! Yeah! Great! Uh Huh! Enjoy the read!

Officially, Tendou and Wakatoshi never broke up.

There was no point at which they sat down and declared this thing between them _over_. Not that Wakatoshi is aware of, at least.

By the end of their third year in high school, they were closer than ever. Practically inseparable. And then, one day, Tendou had kissed Wakatoshi. The kiss led to talking, as kisses will do, and the talking led to confessions. Confessions led to more kisses and hangouts turned to dates.

Before Tendou, Wakatoshi had never been in love.

After Tendou?

There is no after Tendou. Only this unofficial limbo.

Wakatoshi is scouted for the Schweiden Adlers. Tendou goes to Paris for culinary school.

At first, they text every day. Call every other day. They’re still as much a part of each other’s lives as they were when they were side by side. Wakatoshi almost thinks he wouldn’t miss Tendou, except for the obvious lack of a loud redhead beside him.

But life, as it would turn out, is busy.

Daily texts turn to _most days_ turn to _once or twice a week_. And weekly begins to fizzle out until they’re lucky if they talk once a month. Wakatoshi _aches_ , but he’s too busy to call Tendou, to see him, to fill this growing void in his heart.

Wakatoshi misses his boyfriend. Wakatoshi misses his _best friend_.

It’s November, the start of Wakatoshi’s second official volleyball season.

He hasn’t heard from Tendou since he called for Wakatoshi’s birthday. It hurts, it physically hurts. But he can’t be upset. It’s not Tendou’s fault, not solely. Wakatoshi stopped too. They both stopped.

It’s not over, but– but it’s not what it used to be.

Wakatoshi is bogged down. A child told him that he thinks that volleyball is boring, and between everything else going on, it’s– it’s bothering Wakatoshi. Everything’s bothering him.

He’s far away from everyone and everything. He can feel it.

The game goes badly, and Wakatoshi feels that too. He’s probably going to have a few weeks off the court, and he’s not surprised.

But what does surprise him is the phone call he receives when he finishes his shower that afternoon.

_Tendou._

Of course, Tendou saw the game. Of course, he would want to call and check up on Wakatoshi to make sure he’s okay. _Of course._

Tendou had always been the better boyfriend, the better best friend, between the two of them.

Wakatoshi comes back better and stronger.

He visits his father in California, and a lot of things that he wondered about finally make sense.

“I wanted to call you so many times,” he tells Wakatoshi, “but your mother wouldn’t allow it. When you went pro, I no longer knew how to reach you.”

Wakatoshi’s mother wouldn’t have known all that much better than his father. He hasn’t _cut her out_ , nothing that drastic. But he (finally) started to see a therapist and has come to terms with the fact that his views differ from that of his traditional family’s, and he was struggling to grow underneath that.

(Struggling to be himself, to love freely.)

His father doesn’t care that he’s gay. When Wakatoshi tells him, wants to know for _sure_ that he has a parent’s love and support, his father just smiles.

“You’re my son, Wakatoshi,” his father says. “And I am always going to love you and support you, no matter who you are or how far away.”

_Unconditional love._

Wakatoshi texts Tendou when he gets back to his hotel room.

> **Wakatoshi:** Tendou. Are you still awake?

It’s nostalgic. Wakatoshi must have sent a hundred texts like this in the last year and a half, received twice as many–

> **Satori:** Yeah, I’m here!

Wakatoshi sighs, relieved. He doesn’t even know _why_ he’s so relieved, just that he misses Tendou with every fiber in his being and he needs him to _know_.

> **Wakatoshi:** Do you have a moment? I was hoping that we could talk.
> 
> **Satori:** Talk~, sounds so serious, Wakatoshi-kun!!
> 
> **Wakatoshi:** It very well may be. May I call you?
> 
> **Satori:** Ya got me nervous!!! Yeah, you can call!

Wakatoshi isn’t sure why Tendou is nervous, but furthermore, he isn’t sure why _he’s_ nervous. This is his phone call, his thing to talk about. But he finds himself worried that if he mentions to Tendou how he feels, how he _still_ feels, that Tendou will think it too little, too late.

His thumb hovers over the _call_ button for seventeen seconds before he presses it.

The answer comes immediately.

_“Wakatoshi-kun!”_ comes Tendou’s cheery voice. And Wakatoshi could almost cry just _hearing_ his voice again. It hasn’t been too long since the last time, but it feels like it’s been an eternity.

“Hello, Satori.” Last time, he greeted his best friend, maybe still his boyfriend, _Tendou_. He doesn’t want to do that again if he doesn’t have to.

_“What did ya need to talk about! You sound so serious over text sometimes, ya got me nervous!”_

“I’m in California,” Wakatoshi begins. “I found my father, so I went to meet with him.”

There’s an excited sound on the other end of the phone, and Wakatoshi smiles a little.

_“That’s so great, Wakatoshi! How did it go? I wanna know everything! Did you get to talk to him? Was he good? Was he terrible? If he was terrible, I’ll hop on the next flight out, you know that I will–”_

“It was good, _he_ was good,” Wakatoshi quickly assures him. “We had lunch.”

_“I’m so glad to hear it!”_

“I feel a bit silly for not seeking him out sooner. I’m an adult, and there was no one to stop me from doing so.”

_“Sometimes, we get nervous about people we care about, and it makes us draw away without even realizing it.”_

“I spent a long time wanting to impress him, or to make him proud of me.” Wakatoshi taps his fingers against his thigh. “But he was already proud.”

_“Oh, yeah?”_

“He watches all of my games. If not in real time, then he has it set to record so he can watch it back. I don’t know why I was so surprised by that.”

_“Because he left ya,”_ Tendou says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. _“Sure, there was your mom, and a lot of other factors into it. But to a little kid, all you knew was that your dad had left and you may never see him again. Your connection to him was volleyball, and you wanted to be the best, so one day he’d have to see, even if he wasn’t looking.”_

“You sound like my therapist,” Wakatoshi jokes with a quiet huff.

_“I sound like_ my _therapist!”_ Satori laughs, and wow, Wakatoshi has missed his laugh.

“I miss you,” he says, soft and nervous.

There’s a pause, and Wakatoshi feels his heart stop beating, he’s sure of it.

_“I miss you too, Wakatoshi-kun.”_

“I’m sorry. I haven’t kept in touch, the way I wanted to.”

_“Life happens, Wakatoshi. It’s not like ya stopped talking to me altogether.”_

“But I–”

_“I haven’t been the greatest either,”_ Tendou interrupts. _“I’m sorry too.”_

The silent promise to try harder, to do better, lingers in the air between them. But Wakatoshi knows that he will, and he knows that Tendou will too.

For Christmas and New Year’s, Wakatoshi goes to Paris.

He wishes that his schedule was less hectic, wishes he could’ve done this sooner, but living in the past has never gotten him anywhere. That’s not about to change now.

Paris looks beautiful. There’s a light dusting of snow, holiday lights everywhere, the city _alive_ with something. It isn’t the mountains of Miyagi, but it’s still beautiful. Wakatoshi sees the Eiffel Tower, and it’s surreal. He’s seen pictures, but never has he imagined _coming_ here.

A couple weeks ago, Wakatoshi had asked Tendou for his address. It was easy to pass off as to be for a Christmas gift – Romero was very helpful in giving advice to set this up. There is a stir of anxiety in the pit of Wakatoshi’s stomach. What if Tendou has plans? What if Tendou goes to _Japan_ for the holidays?

_What if he’s with someone else? I don’t want to ruin his Christmas._

But Ushijima Wakatoshi is not a coward. He hails a taxi and does his best to communicate, in French, where he wants to go. The driver seems to understand well enough, and they’re on their way.

Wakatoshi takes in the sights as they drive, but only barely. If all goes well, he’ll get to take his time with Tendou, seeing all of this. And the thought makes his chest feel light. He misses Tendou so much. Even if all that remains is their friendship, he misses him.

The taxi arrives at the apartment complex, and Wakatoshi thanks the driver before getting out. It takes a moment to figure out which direction to walk for Tendou’s, but he notices the pattern in the addresses and follows it along until he finds it.

Through the storm of nerves boiling within, he knocks on the door.

“ _Un instant s’il vous pla_ _ît!_ ” comes the reply. Wakatoshi doesn’t need to know French to understand; he certainly doesn’t need to know French to recognize Tendou’s voice. “ _Je serai là!_ ”

Wakatoshi can hear footsteps, and he stands back a bit. His body is buzzing; he doesn’t know what he wants to do when he sees Tendou. Hug him? Kiss him? Just stand there looking at him and taking in the fact that Tendou is once more in front of him?

“ _Désolé pour l’attente–_ ” Tendou opens the door and stops, mouth still hanging open. He blinks once, twice, rubs his eyes like he’s making sure they’re working. “Wakatoshi-kun?”

Wakatoshi gives a small, sheepish smile and waves a hand in greeting. “Hello, Satori.”

Tendou keeps blinking at him, and then tears flood his eyes as he flings himself forward into Wakatoshi’s arms. “Is this why you asked for my address?” he asks, voice muffled against Wakatoshi’s scarf.

“Yes,” Wakatoshi replies, arms wrapping tight around Tendou’s waist, wanting to keep him close. “I wanted to surprise you. I hope that’s alright.”

Tendou nods against him, and Wakatoshi hears him sniffle. “It’s more than alright, ya doof, I’m glad you did. How long are you staying?”

“Through New Year’s, if you’ll have me,” Wakatoshi says, voice small and shy. He’s not used to this feeling; only Tendou has ever brought it out in him.

“Of course!” Tendou pulls back suddenly, eyes wide. “I was just finishing up some Christmas cookies! You’ve gotta come try them! Oh, you have a bag! I can get that for ya, okay–!”

Tendou is as lively as ever – possibly more so – and Wakatoshi follows behind as Tendou leads the way into the apartment.

The apartment smells like Christmas and freshly baked cookies. It’s warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the winter chill outside. The entire flat feels like _Tendou_. It makes Wakatoshi’s heart do what feels like flips in his chest.

“I don’t have a guest room or even really a spare futon, but the couch is very comfy? Or, I can sleep on the couch and you can take my bed? Or, well, I mean it’s a decent sized bed, we could– well, I don’t know if you’d want to–”

“I am not opposed to sleeping together,” Wakatoshi says simply, and Tendou’s face lights up bright red.

“Right! Of course! Why would you be, not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before!”

“You’re nervous,” Wakatoshi notes, blunt as ever.

Tendou freezes in the middle of setting Wakatoshi’s bag down. He finishes, slowly, and stands back upright, but he doesn’t turn to face Wakatoshi.

“Wakatoshi-kun, of course I’m _nervous_. I have no idea– I mean, you’re _here_ , and we’re finally talking regularly again, and I feel like no time ever passed but what if you did? And I know we never _said_ , but it kinda _felt_ like–”

“It felt like we broke up,” Wakatoshi offers, stepping closer to him.

“Geez, if even you felt it, I dunno if there’s anything more to say about that,” Tendou sighs. His shoulders slump forward. “So, we kinda did, huh?”

“Romero-san said that sometimes, when couples take different directions, they go on a break. Not a break- _up_.” Wakatoshi reaches out slowly, places his hand on Tendou’s shoulder. “Whatever it was… I still love you. I never even thought about anyone else.”

Tendou nods and peaks over his shoulder. “Me too.”

“I should have tried harder. You should have been my priority, but life–”

“Wakatoshi,” Tendou interrupts, turning around. “We _both_ failed here. We _both_ stopped making that effort. But we have been for the last few months, and I want to keep doing that. If it’s okay.”

Wakatoshi nods, the biting sting of tears in his eyes. “I understand if you don’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.”

Tendou’s eyes go wide, and then he steps closer to Wakatoshi. “There’s nothing else I’d rather be right now, than your boyfriend.”

Wakatoshi nods again. Emotion is heavy in his chest, and there’s a lot that he doesn’t even know how to start sorting through. But Tendou cups Wakatoshi’s cheek in his hand, and Wakatoshi knows that they’re going to sort through it together. That it’s going to be okay.

He leans into Tendou’s hand, eyes falling closed. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Wakatoshi-kun.”

Tendou moves slow, as if he’s afraid that if he acts too fast, Wakatoshi will break or disappear. But Wakatoshi feels Tendou’s breath on his cheek, on his lips, and after a small eternity, their lips meet.

It’s like the first kiss all over again. Slow, unsteady, and unsure. Wondering if the other is alright with this, wants this in the same way and for the same reasons.

There’s a brief moment apart before they’re each diving back in, remembering how the other tastes, remembering the steps to this kiss. Remembering that they’re still _them_ , no matter the distance and the time.

_Unconditional love._

Yeah. Wakatoshi is certain that he loves Tendou, that he loves Tendou _that much_. His hands grip Tendou’s waist, pulling him close, closer; he can’t get close enough, can’t get enough of this. Not after so long of nothing.

It makes him never want to let go.

“You should come to Paris more often,” Tendou teases, kissing Wakatoshi one more time. “Come on. Cookies might still be warm.”

Tendou leads him through the flat to the kitchen, and Wakatoshi’s heart is warm and full.

He will, he decides. He is going to come to Paris every chance he gets, no matter how few and far in between.

“I love you,” he breathes out, because he’s still in awe that this is going as well as it is.

“I love you too,” Tendou says, soft and fond. He picks up the tray of cookies. “Now, which one do ya wanna try!”

**Author's Note:**

> Validate me in the comments I need the serotonin after Hurting from writing this (and it wasn't even that angsty! Cecil stop being a little bitch challenge!). But anyways I hope you enjoyed it! Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/lovingyachi) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit


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